http2: fix responses to long payload reqs

When a request with a long payload is received, http2 does not allow a response that does not process all the incoming payload if the payload exceeds the initial window size. Add a conditional Http2Stream#close call that runs only if its a server-side stream, the user hasn't attempted to read the stream & there is no resume call scheduled.

With all that said, I hope someone has some good ideas that will make this less of a monster...

Also, FWIW this should make writes slightly less brittle because right now it's possible to trigger a follow-up write from the Done callback which would then trigger the assert in SendPendingData. In particular this tends to happen when using either destroy or close on a stream.

Fixes: https://github.com/nodejs/node/issues/20060

Checklist

• make -j4 test (UNIX), or vcbuild test (Windows) passes
• tests and/or benchmarks are included
• commit message follows commit guidelines