events: combined event target fixes

This PR combines the following separate PRs, with fixups, to make them easier to land (landing them one at a time was starting to get extremely painful)

• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33663
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33659
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33661
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33649
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33646
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33624
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/33637
• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/34004

/cc @benjamingr, @mscdex, @lundibundi, @zirak

Checklist

• make -j4 test (UNIX), or vcbuild test (Windows) passes
• tests and/or benchmarks are included
• commit message follows commit guidelines