quic: update ngtcp2 and nghttp3
Update the deps ngtcp2 and nghttp3 to latest + needed fixups. This depends directly on the prior PRs #34655, #34669, and #34741 landing first (all of which are ready to land except for the silly mandatory wait time requirement)
Checklist
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make -j4 test
(UNIX), orvcbuild test
(Windows) passes -
tests and/or benchmarks are included -
documentation is changed or added -
commit message follows commit guidelines