backport: debugger: make listen address configurable

Checklist

• make -j8 test (UNIX), or vcbuild test nosign (Windows) passes
• commit message follows commit guidelines

Affected core subsystem(s)

• debugger

Description of change

This is a backport of:

• https://github.com/nodejs/node/pull/3316

/cc @bnoordhuis @TheAlphaNerd @nodejs/diagnostics